


bonny portmore - laura marling

by orphan_account



Series: Hamilton Song Prompts [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Polyamory, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>None of them considered it odd that Alex hadn't come out of the bedroom in twelve hours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bonny portmore - laura marling

None of them considered it odd that Alex hadn't come out of the bedroom in twelve hours. In fact, that was normal. He had an unhealthy tendency to get wrapped up in his work and not realize that half a day had passed. It only made the moment he emerged from his blanket cave even sweeter, seeing his two boyfriends and Lafayette waiting for him with ramen noodles and hot chocolate, the latest episode of his favorite TV show paused in the living room.

"Has anyone even _heard_ Alex today?" Lafayette asked as Hercules braided their hair on the couch. John was in Lafayette's lap. "Usually we can hear his laptop lid being slammed shut and open again, or him calling Washington and ranting about how stupid Aaron is."

John shrugged. "I don't know. I heard a thud earlier and some groans, but I assume it's just Alex being, I don't know, _Alex_."

"Should we check on him?" Hercules asked as he tied off Lafayette's third braid, half of their head done.

"Finish my hair." Lafayette said. "Then we'll see what he's doing."

John stood up, ignoring Lafayette's protests, and grabbed the TV remote before returing to his datemate's lap. "What d'ya wanna watch?"

 

"Done." Hercules groaned. Lafayette squealed and turned around to kiss him, Hercules laughing. "You're welcome, babe."

John angrily shushed them, focus faltering only a second from what he was watching on the TV screen. "It's getting good."

"What are you watching?" Lafayette asked.

John shrugged. "I don't know, really. But it's some show about spies and America."

Lafayette tugged on the bottom of John's shirt and whined, John finally turning the TV off and standing up. They all made the trip to their shared bedroom, anticipating one of three options:

1\. Alex passed out on his laptop keyboard, a row of nonsense numbers and letters on the screen.

2\. Alex yelling at Jefferson/Madison/Washington/Burr over the phone.

3\. Alex actually under the covers, sleeping peacefully (This was very rare).

Hercules was the one opening the door, for he was the one at the front of their group, and he knocked three times before calling Alex's name. "Alex, sweeite? You've been in there all day."

"I'll suck your dick-" John started, but was cut off by Hercules' shushing. Lafayette looked at them both and shrugged before pointing at Hercules and then the door, mouthing the words, " _Open it_."

Herc opened it fully, the boys and Laf all peeking inside to see where Alex was. The lights were all off, water running in the dark bathroom, and Herc flipped the switch. Lafayette cursed, something about their eyes burning, before gasping and closing a hand over their mouth. John's mouth gaped open, and Hercules was stuttering helplessly.

A blood stain coming from the bedsheets to the bathroom, a stack of papers on the bed, razors sprinkled across the sheets and surrounding floor area, books stacked meticulously beside the papers... 

Lafayette screamed and clutched at John's shoulders, tears spilling from their eyes, John struggling under Laf's weight and staring straight ahead blankly, and Hercules fell to his knees, one of the razors shredding a line down his right knee. He didn't feel anything.

Hercules was the first one to enter the bathroom, immediately wretching into the toilet at the sight in front of him. Alex, naked, laying in the bathtub, blood across his thighs and stomach and wrists and face and, oh, _God_ , _everywhere_. More razors on the countertop, various CDs stacked beside the tub, and a wet notebook balanced on Alex's stomach. Hercules grabbed for it and flipped through the pages, some stained with blood, others doodled with drawings of John, Laf, Herc, and their friends, some with scribbled song lyrics, like:

_I'm just the man on the balcony, singing "nobody will ever remember me"..._

_And the more I think on you the more I think love... and if I had you now as I had once before..._

_Stay alive, stay alive for me..._

One page just had the word " _time_ " scrawled all across it, at first in neat rows on the blue lines, but farther down the page the word would be written large, small, and completely outside the margins.

Eventually John and Laf entered the bathroom as well - one of them cleaning Herc's cut knee and sticking a band-aid over it at some point - and they guided Hercules out before he passed out face-first on the bed. His last memory before falling into the impending blackness was Lafayette yelling something at John, John's response was slamming the bedroom door behind him.

Lafayette, still crying, collapsed beside Herc and whispered into his ear, unaware he wasn't quite out yet. "Alex was the only thing keeping us together. I don't want to lose you and John, too." They sobbed into Herc's back a couple of times before rolling beside him and curling into his side.

Hercules dreams were taunted by door slams, Laf's wrecked voice ringing eerily in his ear, blood stains on faceless bodies, and Alexander's sleepy smile that morning before Hercules got up to make breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> songs used in alex's notebook (in order):  
> 1\. from now on we are enemies, fall out boy  
> 2\. bonny portmore, laura marling  
> 3\. truce, twenty one pilots
> 
> i almost cried twice while writing this yikes
> 
> i'm currently watching turn and i just finished season one and fUCK this song killed me when i heard it because i immediately thought of so many ships and so many sad things i could do to those ships


End file.
